On the outside, I was calm. On the inside, however, I was haunted by the slight possiblity that my breast lump was not the benign sebacous cyst after all. A few months ago it was as small as the head of an eraser, but it has since more than tripled in size and gotten infected as well.
I lay on the guerny listening to the mix of conversations from the holding area. The guy in the next area moans every now and again. The lady across the way trys to track down her son to communicate one last bit of information.
I hold my right arm straight out, careful not to bend it in fear that I’ll need a new one placed if it goes bad before my procedure. It hurts already, or still; I can’t figure out which it is. I examine it and check the IV flow. It appears to be okay.
The hospital is a cold place. I don’t know how I could have forgotten that after working in one for over 12 years. I have two blankets over my but I am ice cold. I curl my body up and try to stay warm as I wait.
My surgeon pops her head in and stirs me from my thoughts. The waiting was getting to me so I am happy to get to the procedure. After I am on the table, she examines the new state of my lump. The infection has discolored my skin. It is ugly. I can almost see the wheels turning in her head and wonder what she is thinking. Finally, she says that she thinks a curved incision would be best. She says that this would mimize my arm brushing it too much during my running.
I’m blown away that she has taken this into consideration. It created an easy segway into my burning question, “How much time do I need to take off from running?” Of course it will all depend upon my healing, but I was very happy with her answer. I may take a day or two more just to be sure that I don’t compromise my immunity and allow the infection to return. I was just glad that she was not concerned at all about my plans to run a marathon in three weeks.
At home, I sit in bed reading blogs, and trying to distract my mind from my thoughts. The vicodin that I’ve taken hardly seems to have an effect on this. I can still feel the place where my IV was placed when I type. On the other side of my body, I keep my arm from coming down too close to my dressing. *sigh* I’ll be a few runs short this week.
The waiting continues. I’ll have the biopsy results by early next week.
What? I thought you were joking or leading into an old story from a new thought. Did you know you had this going when we saw you last? If there is a time to take off, now it is it. All the hard work is done (I guess you can stretch as you wait). Take advantage of this down time. Good luck.
XO
Ah, good luck Juls. I hope it all turns out well. Enjoy your rest and come back strong!
Wait! I thought you just went through this. crap. Fingers crossed for the best possible news.
You are in my thoughts and prayers, Juls. A little rest right now will be good for the legs, and you’ll really enjoy those runs after the break! :) Except for the guilt over not running. :) And dog toots-yuck! :) At least the sense of humor took over instead of the worrier. :) You are on my mind. Take care!
I have something VERY similar. . . .It’s going to be fine. I go abck to the Dr. on Monday & we go from there. . . . .Enjoy the break!
you can watch allthe Primetime shows on your computer, Grey’s, Private Practice, Brother & Sisters, Friday Nght Lights. .. . I do this on Sunday Mornings, its kinda nice; very few commercials :o)
Sending prayers.
Thanks everyone. The surgery is over and I am back to work today. Just no running allowed.
I thought you were done with this, too. Keeping you in my prayers.
Juls I am thinking about you! How does it feel today?