Keeping Pace

Keeping Pace

My Wedding Anniversary

by

Tom & Julie in Catalina Island.JPG

I’ve already told the story of how Tom and I married in a hot air balloon. It was a great way to kick off our journey together.


Our marriage had been a leap of faith. Although we had dated for the six years prior to that, Tom had made it very clear on day one of the relationship – he had no intentions, whatsoever, to have children again or get married again. “I’m not the one, Julie. You can do better,” he’d told me, “Don’t fall in love.”

But, that was easier said than done. Better? Sure, he had the baggage of losing a child on Christmas Day. She was just a babe, really – just 3 days old. I understood why he never wanted to risk that pain again. As for DD, he was a bonus for me. I guess I thought, if I could agree not to want children, I might convince him to marry me some day.

But after 6 years, we were getting closer and closer and there was still no sign of change. Tom could see that I was willing to forego children, but he knew that I desperately wanted them.

He had his own dreams. They didn’t involve anyone but him. He would travel the world as soon as DD was off to college. He wouldn’t worry about money – he’d just go whereever his truck would lead him and write about what he saw.

Well, it didn’t happen that way. One day, I discovered a pink line on a pregnancy test. I thought hard about what Tom and I each wanted. Knowing that it would probably push him away, I told Tom that I was having the baby (with or without him). I felt strongly – it was easy to risk losing him, as I never really had him at all.

Five months later, we were leaving our baggage and fears on the ground, and taking off to new heights for the sake of adventure. It was new. It was scary. It was HARD. But we made it and enjoyed 16 years together.

Now Tom is off on his solo adventure finally. I hope that he is writing his heart out. I wish that I could have given that journey earlier, while he still had a body to travel in.

Happy Anniversary, Dear! I sure do miss you.

Comments

  1. This is a great example of the old adage:

    Sometimes what we need is not what it appears to be on the surface.

    {hugs}

  2. Oh, Juls, you brought tears to my eyes with your final paragraph. I’m so glad that you got those 16 years together. A beautiful tribute for your anniversary.

  8. It’s funny that everyone is saying that this is a “beautiful” tribute. I hesitated to post this because it is about the tough decision we made and how Tom was pushed into a marriage that he never intended to be in. The first year was tough, VERY tough. Many times he brought up how this was MY decision and how I forced him into it. It was many years later that he admitted that it was the best thing to happen to him – saving him for a life was heading off in the wrong direction.

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