The blood-sucking mosquito

While riding beside Miss Sophie, my (soon to be 3-years-old) niece, I kept busy with a newly acquired Happy Meal Toy. The little plastic replica of Mooseblood, the funny mosquito in Pixar’s newest movie, had a job to do.

“What does he say?”
“I am a blood-sucking mosquito!”

I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth. It *was* what Mooseblood had said when he was called to represent the cow (as a lawyer) at the end of the Bee Movie. Still, I wondered whether Lil’ Sis was cringing, because you *know* that something like this will be repeated over and over and over. I tried to distract her from the words by making sucking sounds (more smoochy kiss sounds) and held Mooseblood’s bent stinger to her leg. She loved it.

“Suck me again,” she demanded.
Great, I though, I just made it worse.

Mooseblood faked a tummy ache, but Miss Sophie wasn’t having anything of it. So the blood-sucking mosquito kept busy the whole 2-hour drive.

Now, 3 days later, I am assigned the “blood-sucking lawyer” role in a Crisis Management role-play exercise. Ugh, the lawyer – why me? Our group was segregated to the 6th floor to discuss the Case.

Equipped with a member assignments from Regulatory Affairs, Marketing, Clinical Development, and Legal Affairs, the group reviewed the various papers that we were given about the Case. Of course the incomplete information led to more questions than answers.

To add to my discomfort, my assignment as the Legal Affairs representative was to stand behind my conviction that the pretend drug’s labeling (package insert) was “as good as it can get.” That was what the paper said that I was to do. It was easy to stick to it as I didn’t have any legal background to present any other alternative.

Although I didn’t have any other ideas, my assignment to do nothing was an uncomfortable predicament. I reasoned that I would review the Risk Management Map to insure that the company was adhering to it, and be kept abreast of the new information as it came in. My time for action would come, after all, lawyers aren’t referred to as blood-sucking vermin for nothing. I just hoped that it would not come anytime soon.

I also tried to think of other reasons why my stance could be valid, and directed someone to get their computer so we could look up SSRIs and try to determine other causes for the serious adverse reactions that were being reviewed.

When the instructor came up to check on our progress, she “recommended” that we arrive at 7:30 am (instead of 8:00 am) as “additional information” might be revealed in the morning. OH Great! I hope it’s not a directive that our imaginary company is being sued because, if it is, I might have to get my own lawyer to represent me in court.