I discovered an email-based grief support group late last week. I signed up for a trial account to check it out. In doing so, I have experienced a new awareness of the feelings that are currently sitting below the cloud of numbness. As I had initially thought (about support groups), it is difficult to hear the recounts of other peoples’ loss. It was overwhelming at first. Still, I logged in and read the emails often.
As I began to feel torn between “the blogs” and the email group, I found myself comparing the two. In my blogging, I have my virtual friends who have watched me go through the process, who have bonded with me on a virtual level, offered support to me (directly), and who have a common interest in running.
In contrast, the members of the email group have something in common with me, but they have also already bonded to each other. I have posted emails to the group with very little return. As a newbie, I have to establish myself anew; I am not sure if I have the energy for that right now. I feel more like an eavesdropper that a part of the group.
Although there is no connection I still am reading their emails as it offers me a perspective that is missing (aside from the few of you that have survived similar loss and commented to that effect) from the blog. Perhaps I will join permanently, or perhaps the live support groups that begin in September will provide the missing link.