Remember the Titans was on the television. It was BoBo who put it on. Caught up in the old tradition, I carried my dinner plate into the living room to watch. The moment was much like the old times, only someone was missing. It felt natural but discomforting at the same time. BoBo, YaYa and I watched the movie and remembered the past year – watching football movies, as well as BoBo’s football games on the TV with their Dad.
BoBo has decided not to play football this coming school year. I can’t help but question his decision. I often wonder if Tom’s passing has more to do with BoBo’s choice than anything else. It is his decision to make, and I hope that it won’t be one that he will later regret. Football gave BoBo so much confidence and pride in this past school year. But it was also something that Tom latched onto in a big way.
The movie was just getting good when BoBo laced up his shoes. His running shoes, although barely worn, have long been outgrown. Wearing his high-tops, with the top open, he took to the streets for some run therapy.
Thirty minutes after he had gone, I began to get anxious. The sun had set and he was wearing a dark shirt. I wished that I had stopped him and made him change. I called him on his cell phone and discovered that he was heading back home.
But I wasn’t totally relieved. I let twenty more minutes pass (or perhaps it only *seemed* like twenty) and laced up my own shoes. YaYa, Lucky and I piled into the van to check out how he was doing.
Less than a mile away from our home, BoBo could be seen. With myPod blasting in his ear, he was moving along to a quick song – I could tell. He was *flying* like a jet plane.
And when he was back in the house, he looked at me and said, “You should be happy, Mom. I ran.” I should be, but I can’t stop wondering if it is running instead football only because his Dad isn’t here.