Archives for June 10, 2007

I’d just finalized my sabotage post, was helping YaYa complete his final book report of the year, and also keep BoBo focused on his end of year projects and studies, when Cindy’s IM caught my attention. She was asking if I had run yet. I replied to indicate not yet, and soon we were making plans for run at 2:30 pm.

The plan was for YaYa to join us on his bicycle but, as luck would have it, YaYa hooked up with the neighbors for some pool time. They were happy to watch YaYa while I ran.

Soon, we were off to the hills for a glorious run. Without YaYa, we were free to take a more rugged route. We took a shaded trail up into the hills and around the resevoir. With a twinge and a tug here and there (a foot, a knee…), I was content to settle into a slower pace and enjoy the sights.

I returned to an invitation for dinner at the neighbor’s house followed by a soak in the hot tub. *sigh of relief*

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I have decided that I am being sabotaged. While I would like to be able to identify the culprit as someone other than myself, I cannot. It would be a lie to tell you that someone has been stealing my running shoes, locking me in my home, or force feeding me chocolate.

I am a passive player, watching from outside of my body, as I reach for another piece of dark chocolate. I climb into my body to enjoy the magic as it melts on my tongue and wakens my body. Then I reach for another knowing full well that one is enough, two is too much, and three is unheard of.

In the morning I remain in my bed knowing that my 12-14 mile run awaits. I listen to the voice in my head that tells me to give up. “Why bother,” says Ms. Negativity. I ignore the voice that opposes her.

It is true that I have lacked motivation, that I haven’t been telling myself that I have what it takes to get my BQ in Chicago (or even CIM). Yet, I know that if I just keep at it, my body will be ready when my mind finally comes around.

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