With my headphones ready, I ventured outdoors for a nice easy run. Having missed Tuesday’s 4 mile run, I was ready to make today’s run slightly longer than scheduled. I selected my play-list and began down the sidewalk towards the golf course.
Since Tom has been on my mind a lot these days, I wasn’t going to fight it. I’d run and process some of the thoughts, which are already running through my head.
I’d selected my “Travels with Tom” play-list that I used for those long car rides where the music can make or break the trip. Because not all Bob DD songs are created equal, this collection of songs were songs which Tom liked that I also enjoyed. And it’s not just Bob DD.
As the music played, the memories moved through my awareness. It was pleasant. I ran along happily remembering the events such as our trip along the coast from Los Angeles to San Francisco, living downtown while we were both in college and DD was still in grade school, and the first cappuccino that I made with our espresso machine. There were plenty of good times. Each song uncovered a picture for me and displayed it for me to admire.
I’d just assume forget about the bad times, but there was plenty of those too. I suppose the bad times are what makes the good times “good”. Today’s run was free of those.
I was traveling down my path, with Tom in my memory, at a nice relaxed pace. The wind was blowing in my hair just as it did on many of our trips in my convertible Fiat (before kids). And on the occasion, the sadness came flooding back in thinking about the memories that won’t happen.
Sobs, accompanied with hyperventilation, overcame me in thinking of the happy moments of the future. Knowing that Tom won’t be there to share the special moments like achieving my BQ in Chicago brings a lot of sadness.
Like a bad cramp, I just kept on running. By the time I hit the office doors, I felt a whole lot better than before the run.