As I try to discover “normal,” in my newly-evolved life, it seems only natural to resume my quest for Boston Qualification (BQ). For those who new Tom, and perhaps have not known me for any period of time, it may sound strange that I am already to the point of persuing my goals again. I won’t begin to think that I could ever explain so that you might understand the importance that running has played in my life; you’ll just have to take my word for it.
Tom was still in the hospital, and we were still trying to wrap our heads around the idea of how our lives were to change in the future. My training as a nurse provided a little too much information than we really wanted to examine. Cancer that had already spread to his brain *had* to be a fight that realistically could not be beat. We guessed that he might have about 6 months left on earth with us.
Tom did not want to undergo the suffering of chemotherapy if it only yielded a few months extension of his life. He wanted to try to continue on as long as the disease would let him and create some more fun memories with the kids and myself. In the interim, we had much to discuss.
One night, he sat with the kids to explain the results of tests that confirmed our fears. At that time, we were told that he might have “a little less than 1 year” to live. As to the quality of that year, we were unsure, but he planned to undergo the palliative treatments with the hopes that he could retain some normalcy for a longer period of time.
Through the tears, Tom told the kids that he was going to be dying, that he loved them. He said that he wanted us to continue our lives with more dedication to our relationships with eachother and our goals than ever before. To the kids’ relationship as brothers, he reminded them that they would always have each other and stressed that it was important to stay close. He asked that the kids continue their sports (football, baseball, etc) and to support my need to run as well. He stressed the importance, “If your Mom doesn’t get her run, she will be a b!tch.” I didn’t try to correct him; he was right.
It was running that brought Tom and I together in the first place. Actually, it was Tom’s lack of understanding that running fitness is different than cycling fitness, but the mistake worked out just fine for us.
We’d worked together in the grocery store for a few years. While I was training for my first half-marathon, Tom was taking up cycling. He’d invited me to join him on a bike ride since I “had to be in good shape” with all of that running that I was doing.
I *was* in good shape, but a lot of good that did me; he left me in the dust. When I finally caught up to him (after he stopped), the beginning of many fun memories began.
Through the years we’ve run together and apart. He’s left me in the dust on many a bike ride, and I have left him in the dust on many a run. He’s cheered me on in my marathons, helped me pick my races, and even given me his perspective on what I need to do in order to BQ. Even through his sickness, as I lost weight in caring (and worrying) for him, he said that he was contributing to my BQ goal.
So, I know that he will be proud of me when he looks down and sees me running again. He’ll be in Chicago, hovering near his family, at that finish line (in spirit) when I finish another marathon – and with any luck, and a lot of hard work, he’ll be heading to Boston with me in April 2008.
backofpack says
Juls,
Moving forward is the only direction to go. I know how much I put into Eric’s goal to reach Boston and I know that when you are part of a family, it is not a goal that is achieved alone. Achieving this goal that you worked on together would be a tribute to Tom. Go for it! We’ll be here in the blogging world, cheering you on and offering support where we can.
darrell says
Only you will know when the timing is right. Why shouldn’t Boston be part of your new normal? You give me so much hope and inspiration.
Jack says
I can only echo what Michelle and Darrell have already said, move forward.
Juls says
I know that you all would understand. It’s the lurkers that may not. And while I am not sure that I should care, somehow, I do.
John says
Juls,
I’m amazed you are able to be moving forwards so fast. I’m sure it’s what everyone wants you to do.
If you want a group to train with, consider San Jose Fit (www.sanjosefit.com). Starting April 14 they meet on Saturday morning at Los Gatos High, and run on the Los Gatos Creek trail and Rancho. My wife, son, and myself plan to train with them for our third year in a row. We also plan to run Chicago. I need a 3:45:59 to qualify for Boston.
I’m going to Boston this year, for my second time.
John
21stCenturyMom says
Juls, your spirit and your fortitude bring tears to my eyes. It makes perfect sense that your BQ is still a goal. Go Juls!!
The Fat Runner says
Go for it.
Tea says
Juls-I’m a big believer in setting goals especially during the hardest times. We all need the “escape” (if that’s an appropriate word) and focus that goal setting gives us.
I think you are making the right decision at the right time.
Big Sis says
Julie,
Did I say, “I love your blog/your writing!” It has become a daily ritual, more than exercise lately. I am glad to hear you are going for “it”, Boston. I know you can do it and I have noticed your run times eventhough, you are “just” running, not tempoing, you are going at an appropriate clip so I know you can do it!!! Keep running between lifes ups and downs, that will keep you sane (I will need to take your/my advice). Awesome! Love, Big Sis.
Big Sis says
Julie,
Did I say, “I love your blog/your writing!” It has become a daily ritual, more than exercise lately. I am glad to hear you are going for “it”, Boston. I know you can do it and I have noticed your run times eventhough, you are “just” running, not tempoing, you are going at an appropriate clip so I know you can do it!!! Keep running between lifes ups and downs, that will keep you sane (I will need to take your/my advice). Awesome! Love, Big Sis.
Paula Sue says
Just remember, YOU CAN DO IT !!!