I was finally able to run again today. My blister site was dried out, but now the skin was stiff. I feared that it would crack if I moved it too much. But my foot and running were the last thing on my mind. I applied a piece of the Neosporin scar removal that was left over from my fall in December 2005. Honestly, I don’t care about scarring on my foot. Who’s going to see it? But I did remember that the stuff made my skin nice and soft.
It worked, by noon I was able to hit the sidewalk again. I let my mind wander as I ran. I brought myPod along today so that I could forget that I was “training” and use my running to help me process the stress. It was stress that led me to calling in sick today.
During my run, I let my thoughts go back to last night.
We sat in the ER waiting for an endless period of time. The room was filled with an overwhelming amount of people. In the corner, six young girls chattered and laughed at a deafening level – their loved one had gotten help while the rest of us sat and waited.
To look at Tom and I, you would have thought that I was his neighbor. He sat in pain, and I was at least a person width away. While there were other couples offering each other comfort, I only put my hand on his leg every now and then. But it wasn’t because of a lack of love. On the contrary, it was my light touch to his shoulders that set him into an episode of pain that was beyond belief.
Tom’s been tackling pain in his neck and shoulders for several weeks now. It’s made for a crazy month where he has been to the doctor, undergone deep tissue massage, and recently several trips to the chiropractor. But last night I began to wonder if it wasn’t more.
What if I was missing signs of cardiac compromise? It’s true; I am a registered nurse. Why can’t I tell what is going on with him? Perhaps it is the fact that I was a pediatric nurse and not an adult nurse. No. I did work for a two years in the cardiac care unit. I saw cardiac patients come in after their heart attacks. Tom’s pain is different than the pain that these patients had. But I got scared. What if…I was wrong?
So we spent over four long hours in the excessively exhausting emergency room visit. eeer! And what *did* we get out it? Tom did get some pain medications, and I got reassurance that his pain is not cardiac in nature. But it’s not over there.
It was after midnight when I finally was able to tuck little YaYa into bed. “Did they fix Dad’s neck yet?” I answered, “No, they didn’t. They just gave him some medications for the pain.” To my response, YaYa probed, “When *are* they going to fix it?”
I wish that I knew.
It wasn’t until I stopped running, that my mind came back to the present. I walked down the street and then stretched in front of the house. I hoped that Tom was inside sleeping…
…and then I walked into the house to check.
image source: http://www.qhc.on.ca/newsletter12/ims/emergency.jpg