Stress

Here we go again. Someone on the top of the ladder must have a lot to gain if all of the little worker ants manage to pull off the impossible. I’ve been given another request for some far-fetched timelines. What’s the cost, or risk? That’s my question. I want to be positive and help to pull the company out of the trenches, but I can’t help to wonder if Someone wants us all to fail. Either that, or he stands to gain a *whole lot*.

It’s not just my project that is getting pushed to unreasonable timelines. It seems that these requests are now the new “norm.” It reminds me of a few shifts that I worked in the ICU. I used to say my prayers throughout the 12 hour shift and hope that none of my critically ill patients would code because we just weren’t staffed to handle it. It wasn’t safe.

I need to run.
Immediately after the meeting, I donned my running shoes and hit the road. I made no promises on if or when I would return, although everyone knows that I would only be gone about an hour. The run was good, but not long enough to work off the stress. I saw Brenda finish up her run and briskly walk back into the building. You could tell that her run was cut too short as well.

I came back to my office to find an email from the clinical program manager notifying me that she wasn’t done with the critical piece that I need to start my part. That would mean that I am left with even less time to pull off my part of the project. *sigh* We just have to work with the cards that we are dealt I guess – decide what is most important – the company or my sanity.

In addition to the email, I also came back to a voicemail letting me know that YaYa fell. He hit his head on the playground concrete and got a nasty bump. The school said that he “seemed to be okay” and he was sent back to his classroom. It looks like a time for some priority setting.

In the meantime, my head began to ache…and then throb…until finally, I left to pick him up. Deep breathe, Julie. Relax. I just couldn’t shake the what-ifs. I guess with 8 years of working pediatric intensive care, I’ve seen too many head injuries go bad. With a critical meeting at 3:30 pm, I brought him back to the office with me. He was just fine.

Later in the evening, he hung upside down from the bed “just to see if it hurt.” It did. *sigh* I told him not to hang upside down. I tried not to think about work. It will just make me angry and…d@mn it, I am even getting gray hairs over it! Gray hairs that *refuse* to be dyed. Oh, bother – I am going to look like Eeyore before long if this continues.