I slipped my feet into my new Brooks Adrenaline Trail shoes. They are my same shoes but with a cool new color scheme. I also have brand new stable-trac inserts in these shoes. They felt odd at first. The arch was too high. I repositioned them and they felt much better.
Out the door, I ran into 2 of our old employees who were meeting up for lunch. It was nice to see them. We chatted for a couple of minutes and I was on my way with music playing.
The plan today:
– run with music.
– ignore the world.
– work off excess stress and emotions.
Although, 3 miles was on the schedule, I know that this short of distance would not do the job. I’d certainly be out for a bit longer run.
I went out in the same direction as I did with Mark on Wednesday. I was thoroughly enjoying my music, but my pace was a bit faster than I wanted. I had to consciously back it down. I continued out on the trail, passing the bird watchers, the dog walkers, and the people just enjoying their books while perched on the benches that lined the baylands.
About 2 1/2 miles out, I turned around. I stopped to change my playlist to some slow music with the intention of easing back my running pace through the music. It didn’t work. It just made the run more surreal. I was on the home stretch with “What a Wonderful World” playing. I was finishing as strong as ever as I looked around at the “skies of blue”, and “trees of green”. It was all good.
And then I stopped. I began my stretching and the song came on. I was reminded of the reason that I had wanted to run alone and block out the world. I began to cry. I felt helpless as I walked back into the building dripping in sweat with my eyes filled up with tears. It’s been a year (almost), but it comes back in waves.
The song, “Live Like You Were Dying” said it all. It’s not just about living your life to its fullest. It also reminds you to give your love away to those you care about. Don’t leave them guessing whether or not you love them. Be together while you have time, because in a moment…it’s gone. You might not even get the chance to say, “Good-Bye.”