Endurance Event

You know that you are tough, having survived the phenomenal task of running the “marathon.” You have been committed, and have sacrificed, and suffered much on the path to your big race. You are strong; you are capable; you can endure all. Right?

I have often thought of my marathon training an accomplishment that measures my commitment, and strength. My training has prepared me for the so many trials that have come my way. So often, I look into the face of another, often unrelated, challenge and know that I have what it takes to endure.

Well, I never thought of my interview as an endurance event. I would have been better equipped had I gone into it with that thought in mind. After all, it was *scheduled* as a 3 hour event.

The day *was* going very well for me for the first 2.75 hours of the day. The interviewers came one after another and I had only one more to go. They were falling behind schedule as the day went on, and the last girl could not be found. I waited in the conference room and began to notice my discomfort.

I had a full bladder. I was hungry. No, I was starved. I looked in my bag for something to hold me over. There was nothing but a container of Tums. I chewed one and was swallowing just as she walked in. She was the youngest of the crew. She was eager to contribute her part to the interviewing as she held her list of questions.

Perhaps my brain had just stopped working. It seemed that my glucose starved cells had stopped working. You know the feeling; it is like the point in the race when you have just passed the mile marker and you look at your elapsed time and try to remember what mile you are at. You just don’t have any ability to remember what that sign read. Well, this is exactly how I felt. She shot one vague question after another my way and I just could not figure how it was applicable.

The one question that stays in my awareness asked about my previous experience with a “chaotic” situation and how I handled it. I tried not to laugh when I heard the question. I tried to clarify if she meant on the job. This is clinical research after all, what could possibly be “chaotic” about that. I guess it is all relative to past experience. After 12 years of nursing, nothing in research could ever fall into this classification. It’s like when you are at the mile 20 in the marathon and someone says that your are “almost there.” You know that it just doesn’t compute in your brain. It’s just not true.

Not applicable wasn’t one of my choices. She tried to help, offering the suggestion of an interim data cut. Again, not applicable. I said that this was when the team really comes together. It’s an exciting time and everyone is working hard toward the goal. It’s like that final push towards the finish line when you can see it and the pain just doesn’t matter any more…you just go. So what could I say; I knew that I wasn’t giving her the answer that she wanted. I just couldn’t think any more.

It was 3 pm by the time I was leaving. It was a marathon gone wrong. My finish time was 4 hours 30 minutes. It wasn’t my best performance, but next time I will go into it better prepared. I wonder if carbo-loading would help?