The year mark of becoming single again hit around the time we began sheltering in our homes. This was about the time I figured I might be ready to stick my baby toe in the water to test out dating. But I honestly wondered if, in fact, I was ready. Seeing posts of Him and Her on the very vacations that He and I had been planning (once he could take some time off), the wine and dine moments, and all the rest of PDA posts flooding my social media still stung. I had to ask myself “Was I was really ready?” OR “Was I still too hung up on how badly I got hurt to keep the pain from dampening any chance of being open to creating love anew?”

Five months later, I wonder if I am any more ready. As I read up on the vast array of dating apps, I become more scared of getting hurt. Yet, friends of mine are making it work — finding new love and happiness. And it looks nice. Really nice. So I ask them for input and am told that their magic app was called Hinge.

I download, complete my profile, and hit submit. A minute or two later, I have a comment on a photo. Ugh! It’s the photo of me with hair down… and I feel compelled to fess up that my hair is almost never down. The guy on the other end sends messages that sound a bit too overdone, “Oh, I’m in love,” “I can’t think of anything else to say but propose” and I think “WTF?!” Oh yeah,… He wants to meet. Yet, as I scan the conversation, I note that he hasn’t asked anything about me. Maybe I am a prude but there were other parts of the conversation that caused concern. I sat with it for hours…

In the meantime, I continued to view the other eligible men on the site. It seems that the app doesn’t have any sort of algorithm for “matching”; it’s all up to the user. This judging a person by their photos and a few words was much like judging a book by it’s cover (WRONG). Yet, there I was looking, judging, and clicking the “X”. As I scanned through the photos, I wondered if any of these men really wanted a relationship. Many of the photos were blurry or ones you would send to your bro with some sort of funny joke. I waited a few more hours.

Then, <24h after installing, I deleted the app. I’m “unhinged” and STILL single. And that is fine.