For the past five-ish years, I’ve been using an Apple Watch for running and almost everything else. The phone connectivity is convenient, and it works fine for simple runs. But when it comes to more structured workouts — anything with planned walk breaks or a little complexity — it struggles. Auto-pause has been the real deal-breaker. Any time I slow down too much, it stops counting. And I want credit for every tenth of a mile I cover, whether I’m running, walking, or crawling.

So, I went back to Garmin.

Technically, I still had Ms. Garminia, my original GPS watch. She’s been with me for so many years that she’s now literally falling apart — broken or missing buttons, pieces of plastic flaking off. A long, well-lived life on my wrist. I couldn’t bear to replace her until now.

My new watch, named simply Garminia, is a Garmin Fenix 8, and she is nothing like her predecessor. Ms. Garminia chirped and vibrated politely.

This Garminia talks.

She tells me — out loud — when I’m “too slow,” which seems to be her favorite phrase. Sometimes she announces my pace in a tone that makes it very clear how far off I am from what she planned. She might as well yell, “Pace 13:40, Julie. I said 8:10! Pick it up, slow-poke.”

It’s been an adjustment.

I’m also trying out Garmin Coach, which drops workouts into my calendar late at night or first thing in the morning. Everything is written in minutes rather than miles, so planning routes feels like a guessing game. And the pacing expectations are definitely a stretch for where I am right now. Garminia makes sure I’m aware of this. Often.

Our first outing was a so-called “Benchmark Run.” Warm up at a pace I haven’t seen in years, then hold an even faster one for 45 minutes. Let’s just say I heard “Too slow” far more times than I wanted to. She chirped and beeped loud enough for everyone on the trail to hear.

At first, I tried to be polite.

“I know,” I gasped as I tried desperately to meet her expectations.

“Too slow,” she chirped again. And again. And again.

“Hush,” I warned — as if threatening to remove her from my wrist and toss her into the bushes.

She didn’t buy it.

“TOO SLOW!”

“F^ck you,” I mumbled, breathless.

A few days later, we were on the track for an anaerobic workout. After a warm-up in range, my first 40-second interval was again “Too slow,” and without thinking I told her to be quiet. Out loud. Two men walking laps turned to look at me.

“Sorry,” I said, embarrassed. “I’m talking to my watch. She’s complaining that I’m too slow.”

They smiled and kept walking.

Toward the end of the week, I moved to the treadmill, thinking at least I wouldn’t end up a mile or two away from my car when the workout ended. I paired the watch, unknowingly changed settings I didn’t mean to, and somehow skipped the first interval entirely. I tried to make up for it by sprinting during the recovery, which sent Garminia into a frenzy — announcing paces that didn’t match the treadmill at all. Even when I settled into the correct range, she continued to tell me I was too fast or too slow. At the end, she asked me to calibrate the distance because her total didn’t match the treadmill. The splits were off too. I know I could just leave her off on treadmill days, but I’m afraid it would throw off the training plan… and honestly, I like seeing my heart rate.

Like any relationship, there’s a getting-to-know-you stage. Garminia and I are still figuring each other out. She’s more outspoken than I expected, and I’m more reactive than I care to admit.

But I think we’ll find our rhythm.