Now that the marathon is all done, I am experiencing a few aftershocks. After training for six months, the expense for travel, lodging, food, etc. my marathon day came down to a learning experience. In this marathon, I was forced me to examine my priorities. Have I been so focused on this BQ goal that I have forgotten the things that matter so much to me? Perhaps, it isn’t that extreme. I would like to think that I did a good job of balancing out my family, work and running in these past many months. But what about the other things? The regard for others?

It’s been 2 days since the marathon and I can’t shake the image of the girl who was having a seizure on the side of the road. I suppose that is normal. I can’t help but wonder if there really wasn’t something else that I could have offered in help. I am a inactive nurse, but a nurse none the less. On race day, I came upon the scene, stopped briefly, determined that everyone helping out was doing everything that I could think to do in this situation, and then continued running. But was that selfish? It was. Was there anything further that I could have done? Probably not. So why am I so disturbed? I have to ask myself, if there wasn’t enough help, or if they weren’t doing the right thing, would I have not wanted to stop? I know that I *would* have stopped. But would I have not *wanted* to stop? On this race day, there was no doubt that it would not be my day to qualify, but what about the next race. At Grandma?s everyone out there was just lucky to survive.

That brings on the next question: Is this stress that I repeated put on my body too much? Is it insane to push through the pain towards my BQ? Okay, maybe I am going overboard. But really, I went to Duluth with high hopes of a BQ. By traveling far from home, I was forced to leave my family behind. On race day, I was missing them. I was missing them as I made a point to give the little kids high-fives because they were there, and it was HOT, and they were out there for us…for me…anyways. But I wished it had been YaYa and BoBo. And I wanted to see Tom. At the same time I thought how good it was for them not to have to sit in the heat, just waiting for me. Is it selfish for me to have wanted them there? Is it selfish for me to ask them to drop everything that they are doing to sit on the sidelines and wait for me to run past? It is. But I need them. And this race will certainly not be the last.

The preparations are going on everywhere for race day. The finish area is being built up, and the people are milling around the streets with water bottles and the like. I saw a guy in my hotel today gobble down 3 baked pototoes in just minutes. I just looked on as I ate my macaroni, and tried not to droool.

In the afternoon I met up with V-teamer, Greg, for the bus tour of the race course. I didn’t see much from the front window (being short and all) but saw a lot of green from the right window and views of Lake Superior on the left side. We examined the road and compared it to the elevation profile. We both agreed that we are in for a nice race tomorrow.

Being one that is prone to motion sickness, I took my Dramamine just after boarding the bus. It allowed me to look out the side window without feeling sick. I now have a throbbing headache, however. I don’t know if I just haven’t eaten enough, it if was the effects of the Dramamine, or if this sore throat really isn’t just allergies. None the less, I am back at the hotel taking it easy. Unfortunately, RBF’er, Dori, just called me and we will not be meeting up today. I hope we can find eachother sometime tomorrow. I saw that she has a new post today, and I can’t wait to read it.

Prior to leaving the port, I walked around a bit to take in some sights in the finish area. Duluth has an interesting mix of nature and city all in one small area. There are areas that remind me of our visit to Boston – Tom, the kids and I were by the big children’s museum taking in the sights by the boats.

It’s hard not to think of home when I am away from it. I like being able to relax and go to sleep when I want. I like not hearing the fighting all of the time. But I sure do miss my family, too. I wish they were here to share this with me (assuming that I am finally able to BQ), and yet I know that sitting around for nearly 4 hours, waiting for Julie to finish her race can be boring too. So to Tom, BoBo, and YaYa (I by some miracle you read this) – I miss you and love you a lot.

Finally, I want to thank all of the RBF’ers who have posted comments of well wishes on my blog. I appreciate the encouragement. I will post my race report, at least a condensed version, as soon as I am able. Until then…

I was getting worried as I watched my suitcase overflow more and more throughout the week. I kept remembering things that I needed and adding them to the pile. I actually have a MS Word document that has my marathon packing list, however traveling this far to a marathon adds a bit more complexity to the whole packing ordeal. Somehow, I managed to get all my stuff into my suitcase and a backpack.

I decided not to check either bag to be sure that I would have them. Obsessive? Yes. I put my race clothes, GPS, iPod in the backpack…with the laptop. I wore my running shoes, even though I only *run* in my running shoes until they are officially retired. This was because I couldn’t fit them in the backpack. Why? Well, what if there was no room for my roller-bag and it *had* to be checked. Then suppose they lost the bag. Then what?

My bag was heavy as I had to bring the laptop too. The “blog” you know. It turns out that the hotel has free internet, so if you are one of my few blog readers, then you are in luck.

I’ve gone to the expo already, but will probably be back there tomorrow. I want to take the bus tour of the race course. Then there is the pasta feed.

I made it hear, now I just have to relax and stay healthy until race day.

I like to go into each race with a plan, for how things will play out. It is like playing a game of cards, Monopoly, or chess; it turns out better if you plan ahead. Earlier today, as I sat in Minneapolis airport (for over 3 hours), I drafted my race plan.

In a nutshell:
I want to run a focused, even effort race. I want to finish in less than 3 hours, 50 minutes and be qualified to run the Boston Marathon in 2007. I also want to feel relatively good throughout the race. This “feeling good” would be a product of the hard, consistent training that I have done in these past 6 months.

I imagine seeing the finish line, the clock displaying a qualifying time as I approach and cross. I feel happy, relieved, and (who knows) ecstatic. I?ve done it.

Soon after finishing, I will get to my cell phone, call my family and tell the whole story.

From the start of the day:
I would wake up refreshed, excited, ready to run, and still calm. I eat the food I brought, drink my coffee, do my “business.” I would surely have all of my things for the race ready. I?ve set these out the night before (as always). I?ll wear my run skirt, my red jogbra and red short sleeved shirt. I?ll have my sweat pants & jacket over the top but will leave them with the drop-bag at the start. The weather will be good for running. Cool, but not cold. Not raining, and not to hot.

I?ll be well hydrated, but not too much so. I will empty my bladder prior to the start and be at the start ready to go when the gun goes off. I?ll wear my fuel belt ? stocked with plenty of GU for the entire race, some gummy bears, 2 bottles of cytomax and 2 bottles of MetroMint water. I?ll have my iPod (fully charged) with my BQ Playlist ready to go. The music will fuel me and keep me right on-pace as I run. I will be able to enjoy the music but will also enjoy the spectator?s support. I will hear my family and friends voices right when I need them. It will remind me of their support and I will not be lonely during this race.

Although, I know that my family and friends may have their attention on me, I will not let that affect me on race weekend. I will have separation from the expectations, fears, advice, etc. I will have and keep my space throughout the race. I be present, have amusement, focus, determination, and all of the tools to bring me to that finish line on-time.

I can do this. I am strong. I am powerful. I am determined, confident, and I am well trained.
Boston?here I come.