something nice
I made a note on FB today which yielded the response “Yeah, whatever.” I must admit, I was taken aback. Sometimes, calling out the positives can be misconstrued as rubbing it in others’ faces. Truly that was NOT my intention.
But why did I feel the need to post that I was still smiling from a compliment made in the morning? Perhaps it was because my last few posts ones of complaint about everything from the toilet seat being left up to our house phone ringing after 10 pm. Maybe it was because I was asked why all the secrecy regarding my love life. I suppose I just wanted to share. What is wrong with that anyway?
In this world where seemingly more and more couples have nothing nice to say about each other, I find it refreshing to see this sort of stuff. And when the opposite is witnessed, I am very uncomfortable – especially when the complaints seem to be firing rapidly as if they were shot from a machine gun. I look on and wonder if I was like that too in my marriage. I sure hope not. Moreover, I hope that I am never at a point in a relationship (with ANYONE) where I have only complaints and never compliments.
This week, I find myself repeatedly in situations (work mostly but home too) where I need to point out an issue in need of a solution. I’ve received a whole lot of push back and have found it challenging to remain neutral, point out specifics, and request clarification or action. It’s been difficult to persist when appropriate but also quell my frustration. As the saying goes, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
And I suppose, when you can’t muster the best response, the next best thing would be “Yeah, whatever…”
just because
Hopes and Fears
Perhaps it comes from years of working in the intensive care unit (ICU) where the worst of the emergency room (ER) lands. Or maybe I’m just a worry wart. The thing is, I’ve seen a lot of misfortune, misdiagnosis, and missed diagnosis. And more of the people who I loved most in the world are gone. So to me it seems a little natural to fear that I might experience loss again.
Honestly, I’ve always experienced a rush of fear when hearing sirens streaming in the direction of my loved ones. I used to come up with excuses to call the kids or Tom just to be reassured that all was well. I might ask what they wanted for dinner, or if there would be a trip to the gym before heading home. When fear overwhelms me, I must overcome it. It’s mostly been YaYa these past couple of years but now that BoBo is home again, I have him to worry about too. And let’s not forget about the Air Force or the plans to join the police force after that.
I’d be lying if I told you that it ended there. There is someone else whom I now worry about and subject to random calls or requests to text when they’ve landed safely at their destination.
I hope that I will not drive everyone crazy with my worry. Believe me, I’ve come a long way in this. I have. And when the shoe is on the other foot, so-to-speak, I am happy to accept the random call or send the text. It actually feels kind of nice to have someone worry about me for a change.
Just My $0.02 Worth
Life is good when you are traveling your path with someone who acknowledges you for who you are. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I often wonder how many have this. Or, of those who do, whether they realize just how special it is. Indeed, it is a very special thing, especially as time passes and life experience leads to an evolution of being.
In the past, I’ve been in relationships where my companion’s view of me did not evolve with me. They wanted me to stay the same, but it was too late. I’d already changed — for the better I think. Besides, that just doesn’t work.
We are human beings. We cannot stay stagnant. We are meant to change. Scary as it may be, in order to succeed, our relationships with our friends, family, and lovers must allow for us to grow and change. And it’s a two-sided process, meaning both parties have a role in the way the relationship evolves or doesn’t.
If you are lucky enough to have this, be thankful. If you don’t, why not try to create it by getting to know the other in present time. You might be surprised at what you notice. Perhaps, if it is a spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, you do this with, you’ll fall in love all over again.