It would be an exaggeration to say that I couldn’t do anything without theMAN. In many ways, my venture into Spartan/OCR events was an exercise in standing on my own. Besides being nervous about doing the 8-10 mile event with YaYa that summer, I think a part of me needed to reclaim a little confidence and independence as well.
On one hand, I was scared of taking on that experience (volunteering AND the race) all by myself. On the other hand, I was excited and a little empowered to go it alone.
Sometimes, you have to stand all alone just to prove that you can still stand.” -Unknown
It was at that first Spartan experience where I lost my car parked in a dark grassy field, in the middle of nowhere, on a rainy night, with no cell reception after my volunteer shift. When I finally found my car, I realized that I couldn’t find my way to my AirBNB without cell service (which I didn’t get for quite some time driving). On race morning, I was scared sh!tless to jump into the starting corral all by myself to take on that race. But I did it anyway. I had no idea what I was doing or how I’d manage, but I had a desire to prove to myself that I was indeed capable.
We’re now 2 months into the friendship thing and I am beginning to feel okay about it. I can’t explain it but it is similar to finishing that first Spartan Race and realizing that I had what it took to make it through — learning how to ask for help when needed while discovering my own strength and agility for the rest. It’s pretty damn cool to realize that you can stand alone and still be okay.
That’s what I am doing. I am standing alone. And I am okay.