my “friend” the little chatter box

While attempting to read Chapter One of The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer, the chatter inside my head immediately started up.

You’re not a good reader. Errr. Maybe it’s this book. How are you going to get through this? How are you going to get through any of the training books for that matter?

Shut up.

You are in trouble. Oh, boy or boy are you in trouble.

Please, be quiet.

Okay.

I read on, trying to stay focused on the chapter. Ironically, it was titled “the voice inside your head.” But I was having a very difficult time.

This is really difficult to read. I don’t like it.

Of course you don’t.

He’s rambling.

You’re rambling. Now STOP.

Somehow, I am not exactly sure how, I finished the first chapter. I closed my eyes and went unconscious. And that’s when the chatter really started up…

I awoke around 5:30am. It was quiet. The voice in my head must have still been asleep. I made my coffee, and reached for the book. The second chapter, titled “your inner roommate” went on to describe the voice in one’s head as constantly ON. It discussed how we aren’t always aware of this incessant chatter but that it is still going on.

Ahhhh. THAT’s why you’re so aware of me.

[groan]

Good morning! Are you going to do your yoga? ‘Cuz you haven’t practiced at home in days AND you missing ashtanga TWO WEEKS IN A ROW!

I’m reading. Shhhh.

Can’t you read that later. Like at lunch. You can’t do yoga during lunch. You should do it now.

Just a few more pages. I want to finish another chapter.

You suck at reading. You should just do yoga.

Shhhh. Just a few more pages.

Y-O-G-A !

Finally, I just gave in. It seemed futile anyway; I was rereading the sentences over and over and over without being able to engage in the book.

Later, on the drive to work, she started up again. I tried imagining her sitting on the seat beside me instead of in my head. As the book described, externalizing the voice allows you to have a little separation.

Ahhh. Look at the hills. It’s another pretty day.

[silence]

I don’t like this song. You should change it.

I don’t like that one either.

Okay. That one is good. I like that one. You should sing.

[begin singing along]

Oh dear. Your voice! It’s no good today.

[turn up music]

Yeah. It’s kind of bad. What happened? Maybe you should change the song.

[turn up music and sing LOUDER]

That won’t work, missy. You can’t drown me out.

Yeah. Whatever. Are you sure I can’t open the door and push you out?

Nope.

[brief moment of silence]

You really should blog this.

Nobody wants to read this.

Since when have you let that stop you?

[Sigh]