I find the body to be an amazing and beautiful machine — only I don’t actually think of it as a machine per se. My own body, however, I often find less amazing and beautiful than I’d like. It’s true. I look in the mirror, searching for the same beauty I see in others only to find fault. I’m a Boston-bound runner for gosh sake. I should look the part: long, LEAN, vibrant, and FAST. I dress and hope that those around me do not look on with the same critical eye as I do.
In the meantime, I implement measures that I hope will create the changes I desire. Turning my focus to nutrition, I note my tendency towards processed carbohydrates for breakfast. This set up, sets the stage for the day ahead where I continue to eat from convenience instead of health. Beyond making changes in my eating habits (not dieting), I’ve also made a conscious effort to take my daily vitamins on a daily (rather than monthly) basis, and have added a few other supplements which I hope will enhance my overall health — that is, if I can stomach them.
But instead of giving these new measures time to work, I’ve noticed my critical eye has opened wider than ever before. I grasp my roll of fat, turn my backside to the mirror to gasp in horror, and step onto my bathroom scale at every undressed opportunity. Where are my results? I don’t see them, and it’s already been ONE ENTIRE WEEK!
When the man of my dreams tells me that I am beautiful, I hold back the tears and thank him for both the compliment as well as for not looking on with my own critical eye. And then I say a prayer that he will never stop seeing me in this same light.
As I lean over for a hug, a new set of questions runs through my head. What is happening to me? What is the reason for this heightened self-judgement? Clearly it must stop, less I create a slue of mental bodily injuries I cannot overcome. But I don’t want to abandon my efforts. I think a leaner, lighter me would not only be more pleasurable to my own eyes but also would be beneficial to my running.
Your thoughts?
I think there is something to this whole concept of weight set points. As your body adjusts to your long term base mileage, you adapt to burn fat more efficiently or increase your appetite or something else going on there, to prevent additional leaning out. Another 6-8 lbs dropped would have such a big impact on our personal performance (or self image or whatever…), but it seems to be practically un-reachable.