The other day, YaYa asked me if I would be interested in my friend, Mark — IF he weren’t already married. I laughed out loud at the question. “Sure,” I said. I also pointed out that the fact that he was happily married and absolutely in love with his bride was partly what made him so attractive. Mark has other qualities that are very nicely matched to my dream man. Perhaps they are nicely matched to what YaYa wants as well.
I’m now approaching the 3 year mark since my husband’s death. It’s also been over a year since I’ve let myself look for my new charming prince. But the pickings are slim-to-none. One need only take a look around to quickly see that all the princes have already been paired up with their princesses. Why is that? Why do all the good ones seem to be already spoken for?
It would seem that my plan to fall into my new love’s arms might be flawed. It’s just not happening — even when I take a chance and leave the safety of the castle walls. Sometimes it seems like I must take drastic measures such as biting into a poison apple or pricking my finger on a spindle to find myself a man.
As I begin to wonder about those online dating websites that boast fairy tale like endings I realize that I am completely clueless about the dating (online or other) world. Furthermore, since I am lacking a crystal ball or fairy godmother, I look to you for advice, perspective, and anything else (good AND bad) you can offer.
I know that I’ve been sort of out there for over a year now, but I’ve really been overly cautious. The considerations on my mind have been that of age windows (+/- 5 years), health, and the length of the lifeline on their palm. Also, I haven’t gone out with anyone that I didn’t already know. So although I am wondering about online options, that plan is still quite a ways off. I could really use some helpful hints on the basics of dating in this day and age.
Please tell me…
- How does one go about picking a prince?
- What are the do’s and don’ts to keep in mind when meeting men?
- Do the women give or get the phone number or email?
a friend of mine was a confirmed bachelor at 40 – he worked nights as a DJ in clubs in Dallas, came and went as he wished, and then his sister had a child and his bio clock went BOOM. He signed up for Match.com and within three weeks went out with his now-wife. This was around Valentine’s Day and they were married by Thanksgiving. They’ve been married (with a daughter, plus her bonus 3 kids) in the suburbs for four years now and he does the soccer/scout dad happily. They still kinda shrug and roll their eyes when they say, “yes, we met online. Whatever. It worked!” can’t hurt to try!
A good friend of mine met his wife through Match.com. She was three names away from him in the phone book. If you met the two of them, you would think they were made for each other. They’ve got two kids now. Sometimes it works out very well. :)
You are in too much of a hurry. People that hurry make mistakes. I think, most likely, that you will find your Match.com in a group that shares your interests…. like running maybe :-)
I need to hear the horror stories too. If you’ve got tips to share, please do.
Running club members, new co-workers, friends of new co-workers, three year plan? Sounds like a long time, but I agree – don’t rush it. A guy knew who lost his wife met his new spouse on an airplane, who could predict? Like planning for a race, enjoy the journey, and good luck.
I could tell you internet dating stories for hours – been doing it since match.com was free. There are tricks.
I agree that joining groups is a great way to meet people – running groups, church groups, volunteer organizations. On the other hand, your life is pretty full right now.
Let’s have a chat about internet dating, shall we? I’m an expert (and still single so you have to take my expertise with some caution)
And 3 years is hardly rushing it. It’s time.
there are tricks??
21st c mom IS indeed the expert.
I’ve done it. Not much luck. You might have better luck with your age group.
but it’s no different than meeting people anywhere else.