I realize that the title of this post only makes sense to a few select individuals, but in the interest of getting some sleep, I’ve decided to use it anyway.
I am, after all, a forty-something year old mom (aka “loser” in someone else’s eyes). Somehow, I wonder if being the widowed, forty-something, not qualified for Boston yet, mother that I am might not be as bad as it sounds.
I’ve been living in an empty house for nearly a week now – trying out the single life. It is an interesting phenomenon. Being childless affords me the freedom to run whenever I want, get together with old friends, or lounge around and do nothing.
Interestingly enough, it also allows me to be lazy, not cook well balanced meals, and work late because nobody needs me at home. Nobody. At all.
It really sucks.
The thing is, I can only stay busy for so long. Eventually, I need to slow down. I’m in my forties you know. When I finally do slow down, I notice things like empty bedrooms, and the deafening quiet. No matter how messy I leave things, it just isn’t the same.
In all the busy demands of life, where there is never enough time or freedom to do things just for me, the truth is it is nice to be needed. It is even nicer to to realize that I need my children as much, if not more, than they need me.
For a forty-something year old mom, I am truly blessed.
I love the way you transitioned from “loser” to “truly blessed”! I rediscovered life in my forties. Just need to shed the last vestiges of a bad couple a decades, you know.
You know you are a good person. I don’t hang around with just any peeps. You can stop right there. There’s no use in arguing with me. I also have a hard head :-)
Being without kids is a great time to just soak it all in. Enjoy your freedom. Work late. Eat like crap. Do things you don’t get to do with the kids at home. The real world will be back in full swing soon enough. It’s like time. There’s no stopping it either :-)
I don’t really think that 40-something equals loser. It is actually a play on one of the jokes from the RBF meet up. As for working late, that is NOT something that I enjoy. I did wonder if the reason why I was given a 4 hour assignment at 3:30 pm was because my kids were not at home this week. It put such a bad taste in my mouth that I literally did not like anything that I prepared for dinner, and I fed it all to the dogs.
Ah yes… I know this feeling well. I’ve had it with my empty house and my hours and hours and hours of unstructured time.
And you are blessed and you deserve every blessing.
I am with you on that 4 hour project at 3:30 PM,…what’s that about? Working late is no fun, whether your house is full when you come home or, like mine, not!
Hope you get through the kid-less week okay and find a moment or two to enjoy the silence. The kids will be back before you know it!
Oh Juls that was just perfect!!! So many times the grass seems so green for those young people but really us old ladies ;>) have it going on.