My 3:30 pm interview is the last thing on my mind. Still, I have pulled up the company website to study up on the their pipeline. They have some exciting technologies in development. I can almost let myself get excited. As I familiarize myself with their products, my mind wanders. I just can’t seem to stay focused.
Instead, I focus on the time. I watch as the minutes, and hours, tick away. I am waiting for a different call.
Armed with a phone number for the radiology department, I set out to repair an error made in my mammogram scheduling. The appointment should have been scheduled at the same facility as the biopsy appointment. It should have included an ultrasound. Instead, I had my boobs squished and was left to worry the weekend away about whether the film-based views would be available to the treating physician. My goal of moving up my biopsy appointment was now hindered by the fact that my ultrasound appointment is not until later this week. To complicate things, I have discovered that the ultrasound cannot be done without the mammogram films.
In the attempts to move up the ultrasound appointment, I’ve volunteered to pick them up myself and take them to my appointment. The only problem is that I can’t find out if the radiologist is done with them yet. As of several hours ago, there as an appointment for ultrasound tomorrow. Unfortunately, I cannot get booked into that appointment spot until the guy at the other radiology department verifies that I can pick up my films today.
So I wait. Impatiently, I might add.
As my interview time inches closer, my nervousness increases. I am not nervous about the interview (though I should be); I am nervous about missing the call to change the appointment. And what about a new job? I can’t commit to a change in employment until I have answers regarding my health. I try to push back the thoughts of what if this was indeed Cancer. I am human, so I don’t do a very good job at this task. My mind fills with questions. How long could the treatment be? Would I be done by the time my insurance ran out? Could I work at all?
*deep breath* I can’t go there – so I won’t.
Update: I got the appointment for tomorrow but the facility is sending my films through their usual transport. I joked with the gal who scheduled my appointment that they were watching me carefully because they knew I was a nurse and that I’d surely pull them out and have a look at them. She laughed and denied any such doing.
Hopefully, it is more efficient than our inter-office transport.
Hang tight, Juls! My mantra in these situations is that I can’t do anything but wait so wait I will. I’m really glad you get to go tomorrow and don’t have to wait any longer than that. Fingers and toes crossed.
Hey Juls:
Your next ordeal is almost here… I’m glad things worked out with your first personal goal of the day. I’m cheering you on-you go girl!!!
(((HUGS)))
I’m pulling for you Juls. At least an ultrasound is more comfortable than a mammogram – you got the yucky part out of the way!
Hope the job interview went well.
Criminy Juls. I lose internet connection for a few days and this? I’m so sorry for the rough patch. I just know that in a few days, this will all end positively, but that doesn’t make these few days any easier. I’m sending big hugs and positive thoughts and all my extra good kharma. (I’m a civil servant, so I have plenty to get you through this week!)
xoxo
Mia
I’m so sorry that all this is plaguing your mind, Juls. I’m crossing all my crossables that things go well.
Juls-I went through something similar earlier this year. I know how hard waiting can be.
You are incredible!
Another update: The films did NOT arrive on time. Somehow, I am not surprised.
crap.
somehow i’m not surprised either. damn medical system. remember the days when one doctor did it all? (no you are too young!)
i’m sorry you have to go thru all this waiting! it’s infuriating.