I experienced a breakingpoint. It was yet another point of discovery for me. I discovered, as I let down my emotional guard, that I had not let myself really cry – not the hard cry that occurred after my step-dad died. In these past months was too busy making everyone else okay by being “okay”.
Last night I cried. I wailed. I let the anger, frustration, and total loss take over. The snot filled my nose to the point of gagging and gasping for air. It was pathetic but needed. When YaYa began to panic at my loss of control, I started to pull back but couldn’t. Through my sobbing I told him that I *needed* to cry. He seemed to understand.
In utter sadness we were again aware of how alone we are. My swollen eyes and drooping eye bags reveal the cry baby that I am.