Everyday, on the way to work, I hear one of the local radio stations’ contest on “What’s the measure of a man?” It strikes me funny that this contest would be run just before Mother’s Day but the newest song/album that the contest is circulating around ISN’T called the “measure of a woman.” Although MY MAN can’t enjoy the prize of a private concert with Jack Ingram and Taylor Swift (nor would he have wanted to), I provided an entry just the same. I know that I will enjoy the concert if I win the random drawing.
What IS the measure of a man?
Back when I was a teenager, it might have been the cutest, funniest, or nicest guy in the school. Perhaps it was the guy with the coolest car.
As I got older, my perspectives changed. I began to look at men and watch how they were as fathers, supporting their families financially and through the quality time invested.
But, earlier this year, when my husband was diagnosed with late-stage Cancer, and then died a mere twenty-three days later, my perspective has evolved yet again. Now, the relationship that my children, and myself, are left with is through our memory of him and some of the lessons and values that he taught.
Here are a few examples:
* Go after your dreams. You can have it if you want it bad enough.
* Don’t spend your life treading water. Do what you have to do to be able to stay afloat, survive, and come out ahead. Be a swimmer.
* Success is measured not by the money that you make, the number of toys that you own, or the house that you live in. It’s about the quality of the relationships that you create beginning with the day-to-day interactions.
Is it possible that you cannot fully measure a man until he has lived out his life, however long or short, and have only the memories and lessons that he left behind?
Juls,
I don’t think it’s that you can’t measure a man until he has lived out his life, but rather, that we don’t ask ourselves to. I would say that most of us don’t have a defining moment, one where we can say “that is it, that shows us who he is”, instead we live with and love him as he grows and changes. And yet, had you been asked, you could have told us about the measure of Tom.
This is the measure of my man: My husband is kind and funny and sweet. He makes mistakes and messes up, but owns up to it and learns from it. He is honest and fair, he is a loving father who works hard at his relationships with our sons, he has a heart as big as a house and a generous nature. He can run like the wind, he can run long distances,he can fall asleep in seconds. We have grown up together, we have history. He loves me when I am cranky and he loves me when I am sweet. He is all things good and true, and that is his measure.
I’m cute too!
It’s too bad the drawing is random, because your entry is a true winner.
It’s true that the qualities that make men “attractive” change over time, but most sensible women recognize early on that looks and money never really compensate for true caring and kindness.
LOL @ Eric! Me too! I think the measure of a man is in the eye of the beholder. So subjective. I am happy. That is good enough for me. I don’t ask questions, I just accept it for the way it is!
Oh Julie,
That is great and true! I am going to show Carlos this. I ditto Backofthepack she sounds like me.
Hope your boys treat you to a nice Mother’s day and good luck racing this Sat!!!
Love,
Big Sis
that’s a fantastic essay. if it doesn’t win, you should send it to your local paper!
those are words to live by.