I don’t ever want to forget this feeling of love for Tom that I am currently feeling. It’s not that I forgot how much I loved him. It’s just that so often it got hidden beneath the pressures of life. Kids, marriage, career, house, friendships, running and goal chasing are just a few of my distractions. Each distraction has an overabundance of sub-categories that are fully equipped with tasks—further distracting me. It happens to all of us. It will happen to you if you let it. Don’t let it.
It wasn’t that I didn’t know that I loved Tom, or that he loved me. It just hasn’t felt this intense for a long time. The “better” and “worse”, “richer” and “poorer” have co-existed with this love. Perhaps, I took it for granted. Perhaps we all did.
Now, the awareness of just how deep and strong that love actually was, is coupled with a mixed bag of emotions. I’m happy and sad, full and empty, confident and insecure all at the same time.