Sweet Retreat

The lovely view of the hillside could be seen as we drove along the winding road. Between the fear of the steep assent of the road, and the hope of the beautiful retreat at the top of the hill, I moved onward. I’ve been tense today. All morning, I have been on the verge of an adult temper tantrum. I’ve been bitching and complaining because things just weren’t going my way. I couldn’t cope.

I drove here desperately trying to escape from the routine and from the oncoming responsibility that surrounds my returning to work. It seems like I am barely handling the duties that I currently have. The laundry has still been piling up, and I work hard to keep the house picked up. I am afraid of what it will be like as I try to add working fulltime to the mix.

The misleading directions that I printed from yahoo maps made the trip intense. Tom has always kept me from freaking out on these trips where the directions don’t match reality. It seems that everything that I do reminds me of him in one way or another. The directions had one turn (an added highway) too many, and one critical turn (an exit off of the highway) left out. These, seemingly minor, details worked to prolong our arrival. But the house finally came into view.

I relaxed and just took in the shrill sound of excitement as the kids shot out of the van and raced towards the backyard. The view was incredible. In no time, I was methodically skimming leaves from the surface of the pool while the boys gathered up enough courage to plunge into the unheated water.

I enjoyed watching them taunt each other with name-calling and dares. Gasps of shock, screams and laughter filled the air, rewarding me for pushing past the negativity of the morning.

Although we were all starving, it would be several hours before we ventured the winding road to town. In the meantime, we had cookies and brownies to hold us over.