On Monday morning I pulled on a pair of running shorts and my jogbra. DD was out cycling and I was to head out when he returned. Somehow, my heading out for a run never did happen. When the rain began to fall, and I began to chill, I slid my jeans over the running shorts and a jacket covered my jogbra. Later I slept in my running clothes and woke on Tuesday ready to try again.
I didn’t run on Tuesday. I gave up on being run-ready at a moment’s notice. Today, I didn’t even bother with running clothes. A run wasn’t in the cards for today either.
There is so much to do after someone dies. Today, after coaxing YaYa out of bed and then to school, I made a trip to my work. My visit involved turning in some overdue FMLA paperwork, more offers of sympathy, and a discussion regarding when the best time to return to work would be. I decided that next week was too early.
Back at home, I got busy. I closed a VISA account, filed out forms to stop Tom’s gym membership, followed up with his employer on outstanding items for each of us, and attempted to notify the DMV. I picked YaYa up after school, received dinner from friends by our old house, and picked up BoBo from baseball practice. We all ran an errand prior to going home for dinner, homework, video chat with the NY family, and then attempting to organize the files.
Now I sit in bed and listen to a lovely CD of music that was sent to me from Becky – a very thoughful teen. It’s probably the 3rd time that I have sat down with the collection called the “Bad Day Mix.” While the death of my lover, my best friend, and the father to my children, amounts to much more than just a “bad day”, I get the sentiment. I used to listen to particular songs when I was sad teenager in need of a good cry.
I have to say that I still have yet to hear the lyrics. It will be on a run where I finally am able to totally appreciate the words put to music. For now I appreciate the heart felt gift of tears yet to fall. Perhaps I will make time for it tomorrow.
Juls,
I’m glad you got the extra time off work. Hope the boys are managing okay, it sounds like you are trying to move back into their normal routine, which is probably helping. You made it through one more day…
Get out there and walk, jog, run… one day at a time :-)
I can’t believe it’s been a week already since Tom died. I’m glad you were able to get the boys to go to school; it will be good for them. You have so much to do, but I hope you can get a half-hour run in today. You’re in my thoughts every day.
There is so much to do after someone dies and it is all so hard emotionally. I’m sure you will run when you are ready to run and feel drawn to that form of release.
Your priority now is you and boys. I’m very glad to hear that you were able to get a little more time off.
Running will always be there; you do what you need to right now.
Ms. Julie,
You will be on top of the wave of “Have-to-do’s” before you know it (I know you!) and will “get” to run when you can get a fresh breath air. Let me know when you do get out for that will put pressure on me to get off my butt and run with you in spirit. Love You!