I ran the dog down the street yesterday. We were going to run around the block, but something happened. In a sudden moment I was gasping for air. This wasn’t your usual “I am out of shape” shortness of breath. My airway felt tight and I felt as if I was going to die. I stopped, tried to relax and turned back towards the busy street. If I were to pass out, I’d be seen. I feared that it meant that something horrible was happening back at home. But when I was back home, my breathing was normal again and everything was as I had left it.
Back at home, the “new norm” concept was thrown out the window. Our life has made a 360-degree turn – like it or not. Anything-resembling “normal” got thrown out the window early this week.
Another trip to the ER revealed strokes. I guess tumors in the brain weren’t bad enough. Hospice services were started up and the family has been updated on the actual prognosis.
It seems that the oncology doctor hadn’t quite conveyed Tom’s finality to us in exact terms. Either that or he was thrown for a loop as much as we were. I have no idea where his reference to “1 year” survival had come from. That was what we were told on our first meeting with him.
Within days of the leaving the hospital (the first time), Tom was visibly heading down the slippery slope. It seems that we are now dealing with mere “weeks” of our time with him.
My husband’s has been cut short. My life has turned upside down, and the kid’s life has been turned inside out. ALL of us *will* be okay, eventually, but right now…my head just hurts.
Long time reader, first time poster. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Juls, we are here for you although very far away we are praying for all of you.
Juls,
I am so so sorry. I want to jump on the next plane and do SOMETHING.
You are in my thoughts every day.
t
Delurking to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts.
I wish there was something to say to make your days ahead easier. Each moment now becomes precious and a memory that will last a lifetime. Your faith will help you to get through this and your running will help to heal.
Julie, what a horrible hand life has dealt you and your family. I feel so bad for all of you; it must be especially hard on your children. I met a man, Dan Perkins, a couple of weeks ago in Santa Barbara. He’s a triathlete and a minister and I sent him an email, since I posted about meeting him, and told him about you and Tom and asked him to pray for you, which he said he would. Not that I’m the same denomination as him, but I figured the more people praying for you, the better. Dan is a triathlete and he said the man that got him into Triathlons in the first place was a man named Tom.
I am so, so sorry that you have to be dealing with this. It’s just not fair.
oh, Julie – my heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry. I did a race this morning (before reading this) and you were in my thoughts, knowing that as I “suffered,” you would give anything to be there. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Warmly, Maureen (ironmo)