I’m at home today. I’ve got a bogged down mind. I spent the better part of the wee hours wide away. Possibly, the reason for my insomnia was from the non-drowsy cough medicine I took. Whatever the reason, I woke up this morning not ready for the world. My throat was so sore, my stomach hurt, and my head has been throbbing.
During the day, I began on a project that’s been patiently waiting for me: My Mom’s Christmas present. Yes, that is her Christmas present for 2005. I know it is way past Christmas, but my family isn’t gathering until later this month so I’ve felt like its okay.
The fabric has been staring at me from the top of my grandma’s old hope chest in my family room. Neatly stacked pieces of shirts, pants, and memories sat and waited patiently for me to gain the courage to work with them. Just before Christmas, I had met with my Mother and carefully chosen just the right pieces of my step-dad’s clothing. I’m going to make her a patchwork quilt so that she can hold him close to her whenever she misses him. I think there may even be enough fabric for a small lap quilt, or pillow, for me as well. But when could I do it? It’s not so much the time as it is my emotions. It has been months since he died and I am feeling so much stronger now. I guess I am enjoying the not crying. They called to me, last night, as I lie in bed wide awake.
There are other things on my mind too but I’m not ready to go into them.
I started with the cutting of the fabric. I found that even though Papa’s smell seemed to have left the clothing, when the iron heated up the fabric the smell came back alive. It filled the room as tears filled my eyes.
The center piece of each square is from a Hawaiian style shirt that he wore often. The print from this center piece is delicate leaves and flowers with browns, blues, with hints of red-orange and turquoise. The log cabin style quilt comes together with pieces of beige, brown, and two shades of navy obtained from shirts and dress slacks. The quilt is only a patchwork in the sense that it brings patches from my step-dad’s life filled with simplicity and softness. This is exactly what I hope that it will bring to my Mom.
In the meantime, my throat still hurts, my stomach aches, and my head is still bogged down….oh, and I haven’t run. Well, there’s always tomorrow….