Coming out of the woods, and reintegrating back into civilization, has been a bit of a challenge. I feel like a deer in the woods, timid as I assess the safety of each interaction. A few cars whoosh past us, cut us off, then slow way down as we drive home. It feels so surreal, like it isn’t really happening.
I’m tired and my head is fogged. Illness is trying to take hold of me, and I’m trying to hold it back. Similarly, I feel the tug of email, text messages, and the social networks. I will refrain from making an appearance for a bit. I’m not ready for that. The break from it all has been nice.
Even when YaYa calls to ask if he can go with a friend to a baseball game in the coming week, I refrain from making any decisions. This can wait until my return, just as everything else.
I think back to our trip, specifically, my interaction with this deer. She too was cautious and careful to take on an interaction she might not be ready for.
Initially, she was farther off. But as I inched closer, she did the same. We made eye contact for just a moment. The connection in that moment was powerful. I can’t explain it.
I took her picture to preserve the moment, though I think that it has already been etched in my memory. Then I thanked her, and we both went off in opposite directions.
It is moments like these that I will hold on to as I reintegrate back into my daily routine. I do so cautiously, but also, I bring back a wisdom and peacefulness that I am sure will help me find my way on my own terms.
Life is beautiful, and I am so blessed.
Posted by Juls.
Posted on Sun, 08 July 2012 at 8:00 am
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