deactivated
The door to my office has been closed for much of the day. It’s not that I have bloodshot eyes from crying, or that I am poorly dressed or stink to high heaven from lack of hygiene. I actually did a good job at putting on a happy face today.
Earlier in the day the following conversation occurred with a colleague:
Guy: Your hair looks GREAT. Did you just get it done?
Me: No. I was awake at 4 AM so it got some extra attention.
Guy: I was awake at 4 AM too. What doesn’t my hair look like that?
It made me laugh when I really needed to laugh. Still, I returned to my desk, made a to-do list, and tried to focus on my job. That is why I am here. Right?
At lunch, I took a 2 mile walk in the area surrounding my work. The air was cool and dried leaves littered the sidewalk. I took it in. Try as I might, the thoughts of all of the happiness I have experienced with L and all that now stands in limbo-land weighed me down. I walked and did my best to take in my surroundings. I worked for a total of 5 minutes. *sigh*
It is hard to be alone with the unhappy thoughts — so hard in fact, that I found myself once again reaching for my iPhone to update my status on FB. As if people really care that I am “walking.” Really? It’s just stupid how glued I’ve been to FB these days. I can’t help myself. And seriously, of the 200+ “friends” who are connected to me, there are very few who are really honest to goodness friends. So why, then, why do I waste my time? I didn’t have a reasonable answer to this question so, when I returned to the office, I deactivated my account (temporarily, at least).
So if you are standing outside of my office, or outside of my FB account, please don’t take it personally. I just needed a break to think my own thoughts. Of course YOU can always find me here.
Posted by Juls.
Filed under What else is there?
Posted on Tue, 09 December 2008 at 3:50 pm
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Life is a journey and, for me, running is a huge part of it. Just like a great run, it has easy and tough parts. It is beautiful at times and ugly at others. Hopefully, I will reach the finish feeling good about what I have accomplished and leave a long trail of bread crumbs to show, those that wish to know, where I have been.
Well please stay here with us…
Plus I am a little bit jealous to hear that you live in an office with a door and I spend time in a tiny little cubit. :)
10 Dec 08 at 2:02 am #It’s easy to be detached from your situation when you don’t have a “dog in the fight”. This is a learning experience for you. Isn’t it nice to still be learning at our age (I’m 29 by the way ;-)
The information you share here and on FB is a gift. One should never take gifts for granted :-)
10 Dec 08 at 4:31 pm #